Hello Internet Friends,
It is Thursday morning in my part of the world, which means it is time for another secret project post.
Let me remind you dear friends, everyone who submits a secret project isn't doing it for their own personal pleasure (although that is another bonus) they are actually getting a handmade prize. Just think of it, you sitting at home, admiring a Kate-made prize, that is yours forever. If you are ready for your handmade prize, email me at mipiacekate@gmail.com for details.
Back to the secret project! This one comes all the way from Japan, where my dear Patrick is slaving away, spreading our conquering language to the good people of Japan. He has been away for three years now I think, although it feels like many many more. His absence is felt every single day.To those of us who miss him terribly, it feels like a really bad paper cut on your dominant hand that won't heal.
While Patrick continues to improve himself in Japan, learning new skills and honing his old ones, here is his secret project (which happens to have a little snark and sarcasm, pointed directly, not discreetly at me).
Enjoy!
We’ve all played the game. You know you’ve at some point, played “Zombie Apocalypse,” “Deserted Island,” “Your House is on Fire….” They’re all essentially the same game – just with different antagonists. To some people, it’s more than just a game – to some people it’s a painful reality. By “some people,” I of course mean me; I have to leave my current job for pressing reasons (the soul-crushing loneliness of rural Japan) and will likely suffer a period of unemployment when I return to the States. I’m worried that this will have a negative impact on my ability to cook and eat good food. So, to get me ready, let’s play the, “You have to leave your job because you have never felt so isolated in your life and as a result you will have very limited resources for an indefinite amount of time… what 5 kitchen items will you be sure to spend your money on when you get back to the States” game.
#5 is a food processor. Seems frivolous, I know, but I am positive that in the long run this will save my not only money but the heartache of disappointing store-bought foods. I’m talking about the things that inappropriately expensive when bought and almost always tastier when handmade (food-processor-made). The big two are hummus and pesto but a food processor comes in handy whenever you want to make something that is either compulsively-hyphenated or of a specific consistency. For example, shown in the picture above is Spinach-walnut-red-wine Pesto.
#4 might frighten you – but I encourage you to open your mind up to this one. When I say “pressure cooker,” you might have visions of yourself on a gurney with your face horribly disfigured by the scalding aftermath of an equipment failure (really though, it wasn’t all that great to begin with…). They’re actually quite safe (now). Not only are they super safe (now) they’re amazingly energy efficient, fast and convenient. They also provide access to dietary staples without the inordinate amounts of planning they once required (I’m talking specifically about beans and brown rice) – after all, we don’t all have an intern to cook us delicious food after a hard day of….wait, what to you do?
#3 has me feeling a little self-conscious. I accepted, long ago, that I am Kate’s most pretentious friend – but that doesn’t mean I *want* to be. I’ve waffled on this one, and was going to puss out and say, “spatulas” here – but they really don’t cover the range of uses that sai-bashi (cooking chopsticks) do. At the risk of sounding like, “that guy who went abroad and now won’t shut up about how much better is in whatever-country…” I freaking love my big-ass chopsticks. I use them for everything I can think of – which is a lot of stuff (grabbing, poking and flipping being the big 3).
#2 is knives. You gotta have sharp knives (dull knives are dangerous and tacky!). The thing I hate most about cooking at someone else’s house is using the crappy ass knife they hand me when I need to cut something. You can go ahead and see #3 about my feelings about being pretentious – but I’m sticking to my guns (knives) on this one. The good news is I don’t actually have to buy a new set (since good knives last a lifetime), but I will have to pay the postage to ship them back home.
#1 … a metric crap ton of (sturdy) forks. (sturdy) Forks are amazing – very likely the pinnacle of cooking technology. Every time I cook I end up using a (sturdy) fork – they can do anything. Mash, pulverize, sift, strain, stir, whisk, whip, poke, flip, stop, divide, mix and jiggle – to name a few. As long as I have a (sturdy) fork and a (sharp) knife I can make something good.